Interactive Maths - The Interactive Way to Teach Mathematics
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  • Number
    • Arithmetic >
      • The Four Operations >
        • The Four Operations (QQI)
        • The Four Operations (10QQI)
        • The Four Operations (QQI Count Down)
        • The Four Operations (QQI Relay)
        • The Four Operations (QQI BINGO)
        • The Four Operations (QQI Worksheets)
        • The Four Operations (Video)
        • Timestables Square (QQI)
        • Grid Multiplication (QQI)
      • Missing Numbers >
        • Missing Numbers (QQI)
        • Missing Numbers (10QQI)
        • Missing Numbers (QQI Count Down)
        • Missing Numbers (QQI Relay)
        • Missing Numbers (QQI BINGO)
        • Missing Numbers (QQI Worksheets)
      • Order of Operations >
        • Order of Operations (QQI)
        • Order of Operations (10QQI)
        • Order of Operations (QQI Count Down)
        • Order of Operations (QQI Relay)
        • Order of Operations (QQI BINGO)
        • Order of Operations (QQI Worksheets)
      • Powers of Ten >
        • Powers of Ten (QQI)
        • Powers of Ten (10QQI)
        • Powers of Ten (QQI Count Down)
        • Powers of Ten (QQI Relay)
        • Powers of Ten (QQI BINGO)
        • Powers of Ten (QQI Worksheets)
      • Decimal Operations >
        • Decimal Operations (QQI)
        • Decimal Operations (10QQI)
        • Decimal Operations (QQI Count Down)
        • Decimal Operations (QQI Relay)
        • Decimal Operations (QQI BINGO)
        • Decimal Operations (QQI Worksheets)
      • Rounding >
        • Rounding (QQI)
        • Rounding (10QQI)
        • Rounding (QQI Count Down)
        • Rounding (QQI Relay)
        • Rounding (QQI BINGO)
        • Rounding (QQI Worksheets)
      • Products and Sums (QQI)
      • Products and Sums (10QQI)
    • Fractions >
      • Cancelling Fractions >
        • Cancelling Fractions (QQI)
        • Cancelling Fractions (10QQI)
        • Cancelling Fractions (QQI Count Down)
        • Cancelling Fractions (QQI Relay)
        • Cancelling Fractions (QQI BINGO)
        • Cancelling Fractions (QQI Worksheets)
      • Mixed Numbers and Improper Fractions >
        • Mixed Numbers and Improper Fractions (QQI)
        • Mixed Numbers and Improper Fractions (10QQI)
        • Mixed Numbers and Improper Fractions (QQI Count Down)
        • Mixed Numbers and Improper Fractions (QQI Relay)
        • Mixed Numbers and Improper Fractions (QQI BINGO)
        • Mixed Numbers and Improper Fractions (QQI Worksheets)
      • Fractions of Amounts >
        • Fractions of Amounts (QQI)
        • Fractions of Amounts (10QQI)
        • Fractions of Amounts (QQI Count Down)
        • Fractions of Amounts (QQI Relay)
        • Fractions of Amounts (QQI BINGO)
        • Fractions of Amounts (QQI Worksheets)
      • Fraction Arithmetic >
        • Fraction Arithmetic (QQI)
        • Fraction Arithmetic (10QQI)
        • Fraction Arithmetic (QQI Count Down)
        • Fraction Arithmetic (QQI Relay)
        • Fraction Arithmetic (QQI BINGO)
        • Fraction Arithmetic (QQI Worksheets)
    • FDP >
      • Fraction Decimal Conversions Drill
    • Percentages >
      • Percentages of Amounts >
        • Percentages of Amounts (QQI)
        • Percentages of Amounts (10QQI)
        • Percentages of Amounts (QQI Count Down)
        • Percentages of Amounts (QQI Relay)
        • Percentages of Amounts (QQI BINGO)
        • Percentages of Amounts (QQI Worksheets)
        • Percentage of Amounts (Video)
      • Writing Numbers as a Percentage >
        • Writing Numbers as a Percentage (QQI)
        • Writing Numbers as a Percentage (10QQI)
        • Writing Numbers as a Percentage (QQI Count Down)
        • Writing Numbers as a Percentage (QQI Relay)
        • Writing Numbers as a Percentage (QQI BINGO)
        • Writing Numbers as a Percentage (QQI Worksheets)
        • Writing Numbers as a Percentage (Video)
      • Percentage Change >
        • Percentage Change (QQI)
        • Percentage Change (10QQI)
        • Percentage Change (QQI Count Down)
        • Percentage Change (QQI Relay)
        • Percentage Change (QQI Worksheets)
        • Percentage Change (Video)
      • Increase and Decrease by a Percentage >
        • Increase and Decrease by a Percentage (QQI)
        • Increase and Decrease by a Percentage (10QQI)
        • Increase and Decrease by a Percentage (QQI Count Down)
        • Increase and Decrease by a Percentage (QQI Relay)
        • Increase and Decrease by a Percentage (QQI BINGO)
        • Increase and Decrease by a Percentage (QQI Worksheets)
        • Increase and Decrease by a Percentage (Video)
      • Compound Interest and Simple Interest >
        • Compound Interest and Simple Interest (QQI)
        • Compound Interest and Simple Interest (10QQI)
        • Compound Interest and Simple Interest (QQI Count Down)
        • Compound Interest and Simple Interest (QQI Relay)
        • Compound Interest and Simple Interest (QQI BINGO)
        • Compound Interest and Simple Interest (QQI Worksheets)
        • Compound Interest and Simple Interest (Video)
      • Overall Percentage Change >
        • Overall Percentage Change (QQI)
        • Overall Percentage Change (10QQI)
        • Overall Percentage Change (QQI Count Down)
        • Overall Percentage Change (QQI Relay)
        • Overall Percentage Change (QQI BINGO)
        • Overall Percentage Change (QQI Worksheets)
      • Reverse Percentages >
        • Reverse Percentages (QQI)
        • Reverse Percentages (10QQI)
        • Reverse Percentages (QQI Count Down)
        • Reverse Percentages (QQI Relay)
        • Reverse Percentages (QQI BINGO)
        • Reverse Percentages (QQI Worksheets)
        • Reverse Percentages (Video)
      • Mixed Percentages >
        • Mixed Percentages (QQI)
        • Mixed Percentages (10QQI)
        • Mixed Percentages (QQI Count Down)
        • Mixed Percentages (QQI Relay)
        • Mixed Percentages (QQI BINGO)
        • Mixed Percentages (QQI Worksheets)
    • Factors and Multiples >
      • Number Properties (QQI)
      • Product of Primes >
        • Product of Primes (QQI)
        • Product of Primes (10QQI)
        • Product of Primes (QQI Count Down)
        • Product of Primes (QQI Relay)
        • Product of Primes (QQI BINGO)
        • Product of Primes (QQI Worksheets)
      • HCF and LCM >
        • HCF and LCM (QQI)
        • HCF and LCM (10QQI)
        • HCF and LCM (QQI Count Down)
        • HCF and LCM (QQI Relay)
        • HCF and LCM (QQI BINGO)
        • HCF and LCM (QQI Worksheets)
        • HCF and LCM (Video)
      • 100 Square Multiples (QQI)
      • 100 Square Types of Numbers (QQI)
    • Standard Form >
      • Standard Form Conversions >
        • Standard Form Conversions (QQI)
        • Standard Form Conversions (10QQI)
        • Standard Form Conversions (QQI Count Down)
        • Standard Form Conversions (QQI Relay)
        • Standard Form Conversions (QQI BINGO)
        • Standard Form Conversions 2 (QQI BINGO)
        • Standard Form Conversions (QQI Worksheets)
      • Standard Form Arithmetic >
        • Standard Form Arithmetic (QQI)
        • Standard Form Arithmetic (10QQI)
        • Standard Form Arithmetic (QQI Count Down)
        • Standard Form Arithmetic (QQI Relay)
        • Standard Form Arithmetic (QQI BINGO)
        • Standard Form Arithmetic (QQI Worksheets)
    • Ratio and Proportion >
      • Ratio (Video)
    • Surds >
      • Surds Activities >
        • Surds (QQI)
        • Surds (10QQI)
        • Surds (QQI Count Down)
        • Surds (QQI Relay)
        • Surds (QQI BINGO)
        • Surds (QQI Worksheets)
  • Algebra
    • Algebraic Manipulation >
      • Collecting Like Terms >
        • Collecting Like Terms (QQI)
        • Collecting Like Terms (10QQI)
        • Collecting Like Terms (QQI Count Down)
        • Collecting Like Terms (QQI Relay)
        • Collecting Like Terms (QQI BINGO)
        • Collecting Like Terms (QQI Worksheets)
      • Expanding Single Brackets >
        • Expanding Single Brackets (QQI)
        • Expanding Single Brackets (10QQI)
        • Expanding Single Brackets (QQI Count Down)
        • Expanding Single Brackets (QQI Relay)
        • Expanding Single Brackets (QQI BINGO)
        • Expanding Single Brackets (QQI Worksheets)
      • Factorising >
        • Factorising (QQI)
        • Factorising (10QQI)
        • Factorising (QQI Count Down)
        • Factorising (QQI Relay)
        • Factorising (QQI BINGO)
        • Factorising (QQI Worksheets)
      • Expanding Quadratic Brackets >
        • Expanding Quadratic Brackets (QQI)
        • Expanding Quadratic Brackets (10QQI)
        • Expanding Quadratic Brackets (QQI Count Down)
        • Expanding Quadratic Brackets (QQI Relay)
        • Expanding Quadratic Brackets (QQI BINGO)
        • Expanding Quadratic Brackets (QQI Worksheets)
      • Factorising Quadratics >
        • Factorising Quadratics (QQI)
        • Factorising Quadratics (10QQI)
        • Factorising Quadratics (QQI Count Down)
        • Factorising Quadratics (QQI Relay)
        • Factorising Quadratics (QQI BINGO)
        • Factorising Quadratics (QQI Worksheets)
        • Factorising Quadratic Expressions (Video)
        • Factorising Four Term Expressions (Video)
      • Indices >
        • Indices (QQI)
        • Indices (10QQI)
        • Indices (QQI Count Down)
        • Indices (QQI Relay)
        • Indices (QQI BINGO)
        • Indices (QQI Worksheets)
      • Completing the Square >
        • Completing the Square (QQI)
        • Completing the Square (10QQI)
        • Completing the Square (QQI Count Down)
        • Completing the Square (QQI Relay)
        • Completing the Square (QQI BINGO)
        • Completing the Square 2 (QQI BINGO)
        • Completing the Square (QQI Worksheets)
      • Algebraic Fractions >
        • Simplifying Algebraic Fractions (Video)
        • Adding and Subtracting Algebraic Fractions (Video)
        • Multiplying and Dividing Algebraic Fractions (Video)
    • Coordinates >
      • Coordinates (GGB)
      • Coordinate Battleship First Quadrant (GGB)
      • Coordinate Battleship All Four Quadrants (GGB)
      • 3D Coordinates (AGG)
    • Equations >
      • Linear Equations >
        • Solving Linear Equations >
          • Solving Linear Equations (QQI)
          • Solving Linear Equations (10QQI)
          • Solving Linear Equations (QQI Count Down)
          • Solving Linear Equations (QQI Relay)
          • Solving Linear Equations (QQI BINGO)
          • Solving Linear Equations (QQI Worksheets)
        • Solving Equations with Algebraic Fractions (Video)
      • Quadratic Equations >
        • Solving Quadratic Equations >
          • Solving Quadratic Equations (QQI)
          • Solving Quadratic Equations (10QQI)
          • Solving Quadratic Equations (QQI Count Down)
          • Solving Quadratic Equations (QQI Relay)
          • Solving Quadratic Equations (QQI BINGO)
          • Solving Quadratic Equations (QQI Worksheets)
        • Solving Quadratic Equations by Factorising (Video)
        • The Quadratic Formula (Video)
        • Problems Involving Quadratic Equations (Video)
      • Simultaneous Equations >
        • Solving Simultaneous Equations >
          • Solving Simultaneous Equations (QQI)
          • Solving Simultaneous Equations (10QQI)
          • Solving Simultaneous Equations (QQI Count Down)
          • Solving Simultaneous Equations (QQI Relay)
          • Solving Simultaneous Equations (QQI Relay Fixed)
          • Solving Simultaneous Equations (QQI BINGO)
          • Solving Simultaneous Equations (QQI Worksheets)
        • Solving Simultaneous Equations Graphically (Video)
        • Simultaneous Equations by Substitution (Video)
        • Simultaneous Equations by Elimination (Video)
        • Simultaneous Equations - One Non-Linear (Video)
    • Sequences >
      • Sequences Activity (QQI)
      • Sequences Activities >
        • Sequences (QQI)
        • Sequences (10QQI)
        • Sequences (QQI Count Down)
        • Sequences (QQI Relay)
        • Sequences (QQI BINGO)
        • Sequences (QQI Worksheets)
      • Generating Sequences (Video)
      • General Term for Linear Sequences (Video)
      • Simple Quadratic Sequences (Video)
      • General Term for Quadratic Sequences (Video)
      • General Term for Cubic Sequences (Video)
      • Geometric Sequences (Video)
      • Common Differences (QQI)
    • Graphs >
      • Straight Line Graphs >
        • Drawing Straight Line Graphs (GGB)
        • Gradient of a Line (GGB)
        • Gradient of a Line 2 (GGB)
        • Parallel Lines (GGB)
        • Perpendicular Lines (GGB)
        • y = mx + c Activity (GGB)
        • Battleships 1 (AGG)
        • Battleships 2 (AGG)
        • Battleships 3 (AGG)
        • Find the Lines 1 (AGG)
        • Regions in Graphs (Video)
      • Non-Linear Graphs >
        • Drawing Curves (GGB)
        • Quadratic Graphs Activity (GGB)
        • Finding Quadratic Functions (Video)
      • Graphs with a Casio GDC (Video)
    • Graph Transformations >
      • Graph Transformations 1 (GGB)
      • Graph Transformations 2 (GGB)
      • Graph Transformations 3 (GGB)
      • Graph Transformations 4 (GGB)
      • Graph Transformations 5 (GGB)
      • Graph Transformations 6 (GGB)
    • Functions >
      • Functions Introductions (Video)
      • Function Graphs and Important Points (Video)
      • Solving Unfamiliar Equations Using Functions (Video)
      • Function Notation Revision (Video)
      • Composite Functions (Video)
      • Inverse Functions (Video)
  • Shape
    • Symmetry >
      • Reflection Symmetry >
        • Reflection Symmetry in Quadrilaterals (GGB)
        • Reflection Symmetry in Triangles (GGB)
        • Reflection Symmetry in Other Shapes (GGB)
      • Rotational Symmetry >
        • Rotational Symmetry in Quadrilaterals (GGB)
        • Rotational Symmetry in Triangles (GGB)
        • Rotational Symmetry in Other Shapes (GGB)
    • Area and Perimeter >
      • Polygons >
        • Perimeters (GGB)
        • Area of a Triangle (GGB)
        • Area of a Parallelogram (GGB)
        • Area of a Trapezium (GGB)
        • Area of Compound Shapes (GGB)
        • Perimeter and Area (GGB)
      • Circles >
        • Discovering Pi (GGB)
        • Circumference of a Circle (GGB)
        • Area of a Circle (GGB)
        • Running Tracks (GGB)
        • Circle Area Problem (GGB)
        • Circles and Squares (GGB)
      • Area (QQI)
      • Area (10QQI)
      • Tilted Squares (GGB)
      • Difference Between Two Squares (GGB)
    • Volume and Surface Area >
      • Volumes and Surface Areas (QQI)
      • Volumes and Surface Areas (10QQI)
    • Angles >
      • Guess the Angle (GGB)
      • Angles on a Straight Line (GGB)
      • Angles around a Point (GGB)
      • Angles in a Triangle (GGB)
      • Angles in a Quadrilateral (GGB)
      • Angles in a Regular Polygon (GGB)
      • Angles on Parallel Lines (GGB)
      • Striping Angles (GGB)
    • Transformations >
      • Reflection >
        • Reflections (GGB)
        • Reflection Challenge (GGB)
      • Rotation >
        • Rotations (GGB)
        • Rotation Challenge (GGB)
      • Translation >
        • Translations (GGB)
        • Translation Challenge (GGB)
      • Enlargement >
        • Enlargements (GGB)
        • Enlargement Challenge (GGB)
        • Other Scale Factors (GGB)
      • Challenges >
        • Which Transformation (GGB)
        • How Many Transformations (GGB)
        • Find Them All (AGG)
        • Ultimate Challenge (GGB)
      • Matrix Transformations (AGG)
    • Pythagoras Theorem >
      • Pythagoras Theorem Activities >
        • Pythagoras Theorem (QQI)
        • Pythagoras Theorem (10QQI)
        • Pythagoras Theorem (QQI Count Down)
        • Pythagoras Theorem (QQI Relay)
        • Pythagoras Theorem (QQI BINGO)
        • Pythagoras Theorem (QQI Worksheets)
      • Pythagoras Theorem (GGB)
      • Pythagorean Triples (GGB)
      • Pythagoras Proof (GGB)
      • Ladders up Walls (GGB)
      • Pythagoras in 3D (GGB)
      • Finding the Hypotenuse Example (Video)
      • Finding a Shorter Side Example (Video)
    • Trigonometry >
      • Right Angled Trigonometry >
        • Right Angled Trigonometry (QQI)
        • Right Angled Trigonometry (10QQI)
        • Right Angled Trigonometry (QQI Count Down)
        • Right Angled Trigonometry (QQI Relay)
        • Right Angled Trigonometry (QQI BINGO)
        • Right Angled Trigonometry (QQI Worksheets)
        • Discovering Trig Ratios (GGB)
        • Finding Lengths (GGB)
        • Finding Missing Lengths (Video)
        • Finding Missing Angles (Video)
      • Sine Rule (Video)
      • Cosine Rule (Video)
      • Sine and Cosine Rules (Video)
    • Circle Theorems >
      • Angle in the Centre vs Angle at the Circumference (GGB)
      • Angle at the Centre vs Angle at the Circumference (Video)
      • Angles in a Semicircle (GGB)
      • Angle in a Semicircle (Video)
      • Angles in Cyclic Quadrilaterals (GGB)
      • Angles in a Cyclic Quadrilateral (Video)
      • Angles in the Same Segment (GGB)
      • Angles in the Same Segment (Video)
      • Tangents (GGB)
      • Tangents (Video)
      • Alternate Segment Theorem (GGB)
      • Intersecting Tangents (GGB)
      • Intersecting Tangents (Video)
      • Intersecting Chords (GGB)
    • Vectors >
      • Vectors and Scalars (Video)
      • Vector Notation (Video)
      • Resultant Vectors (Video)
      • Resultants of Column Vectors (Video)
      • Scalar Multiplication (Video)
      • Magnitude of a Vector (Video)
    • Miscellaneous >
      • Squares (GGB)
      • Tangrams (GGB)
      • Euler Line (GGB)
      • Geoboards
  • Statistics
    • Probability >
      • Probability (QQI)
      • Probability (10QQI)
      • Probability Tools (Flash)
    • Averages >
      • Averages Activity (QQI)
      • Listed Averages >
        • Listed Averages (QQI)
        • Listed Averages (10QQI)
        • Listed Averages (QQI Count Down)
        • Listed Averages (QQI Relay)
        • Listed Averages (QQI BINGO)
        • Listed Averages (QQI Worksheets)
        • Averages From Lists of Data (Video)
        • Quartiles and Interquartile Range (Video)
      • Averages from Frequency Tables >
        • Averages from Frequency Tables (QQI)
        • Averages from Frequency Tables (10QQI)
        • Averages from Frequency Tables (QQI Count Down)
        • Averages from Frequency Tables (QQI Relay)
        • Averages from Frequency Tables (QQI BINGO)
        • Averages from Frequency Tables (QQI Worksheets)
        • Averages From Frequency Tables (Video)
        • Averages From Grouped Frequency Tables (Video)
      • Averages With A GDC (Video)
    • Statistical Diagrams >
      • Cumulative Frequency (Video)
      • Scatter Graphs and the Mean Point (Video)
      • Scatter Graphs and Linear Regression on a GDC (Video)
      • Correlation and the Correlation Coefficient on a GDC (Video)
  • Post 16 Topics
    • Binomial Expansion >
      • Binomial Expansion (Video)
      • Binomial Theorem (Video)
      • Binomial Coefficients (Video)
      • Binomial Applications (Video)
    • Coordinate Geometry >
      • Coordinate Geometry (QQI)
      • Coordinate Geometry (10QQI)
      • Equation of a Circle (AGG)
    • Differentiation >
      • Differentiating Polynomials >
        • Differentiating Polynomials (QQI)
        • Differentiating Polynomials (10QQI)
        • Differentiating Polynomials (QQI Count Down)
        • Differentiating Polynomials (QQI Relay)
        • Differentiating Polynomials (QQI BINGO)
        • Differentiating Polynomials (QQI Worksheets)
      • Finding Gradients of Curves (QQI)
      • Finding Gradients of Curves (10QQI)
      • Finding Turning Points of Curves (QQI)
      • Finding Turning Points of Curves (10QQI)
    • Trigonometry >
      • Radian and Degree Conversions >
        • Radian and Degree Conversions (QQI)
        • Radian and Degree Conversions (10QQI)
        • Radian and Degree Conversions (QQI Count Down)
        • Radian and Degree Conversions (QQI Relay)
        • Radian and Degree Conversions (QQI BINGO)
        • Radian and Degree Conversions (QQI Worksheets)
      • Trigonometric Exact Values >
        • Trigonometric Exact Values (QQI)
        • Trigonometric Exact Values (10QQI)
        • Trigonometric Exact Values (QQI Count Down)
        • Trigonometric Exact Values (QQI Relay)
        • Trigonometric Exact Values (QQI BINGO)
        • Trigonometric Exact Values (QQI Worksheets)
      • Graphs of Trig Functions (GGB)
  • Starters, Puzzles and Enrichment
    • UKMT Random Question Generator
    • @mathschallenge Random Questions
    • School of Hard Sums Random Questions
    • Random Starter of the Day
    • Mathematically Possible (QQI Starter)
    • Adding Challenge (QQI Starter)
    • Date Starter (QQI Starter)
    • Name That Number (QQI Starter)
    • Matchstick Random Questions
    • Choose 3 Numbers (QQI Starter)
    • What's The Question (QQI Starter)
    • Mathematical Words (QQI Starter)
    • Number of the Day (QQI Starter)
    • Anagrams and Missing Vowels (QQI Starter)
    • Missing Vowels and Word Jumbles (QQI) >
      • Missing Vowels and Word Jumbles Simple Numbers (QQI)
    • Tables (QQI)
    • Target Boards (QQI)
    • Missing Signs (QQI)
    • Random Activities >
      • Exploding Dots
      • Easter Date
      • Easter Tangrams (GGB)
      • Zeller's Algorithm
      • Batman Equation (AGG)
      • Templates
    • Mathematical Videos >
      • Fermat's Last Theorem (Video)
      • Pi Song (Video)
      • Monty Hall Problem (Video)
      • Symmetry, Reality's Riddle (Video)
      • Music of the Primes (Video)
      • Folding Paper (Video)
      • Nature by Numbers (Video)
      • Inspirations (Video)

The Hardest Time Of My Life

19/11/2018

0 Comments

 
A year ago our son was born. It was the happiest moment of my life. Although so much of those days is lost to sleep deprivation, the feeling of holding my son for the first time is something that I will never forget. And every day since then I have cherished as many moments with him as I can.
But getting there was not an easy journey - and that journey is not something I have talked about with many people, let alone in a public sphere. But at this point I am finally at a point where I can say this out loud.
We went through four miscarriages before having our son.
Many of my family and closest friends will be surprised to read that statement, as will almost all my colleagues.
Approximately 20% of all recognised pregnancies end in miscarriage. That is 1 out of every 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. That is not a small number, and probably means you know a few people who have gone through this devastating experience. And it is devastating. To have a child one day and then not the next is completely life changing. 
And yet we don’t talk about it. 
People going through this experience find it difficult to talk about. Other people find it difficult to talk about. It is not a comfortable conversation to have. But I am sure that if this was something that was more widely discussed, it would not be as difficult for those going through it.
So here's our story. 
For all those who have been through similar, hopefully it helps you realise you are not alone. For those who have not experienced it, hopefully it gives you a glimpse into what people around you might be going through, without you even knowing. If nothing else, hopefully this helps raise awareness that millions of couples go through a hugely traumatic event every year. And maybe, just maybe, it will help people talk about it.
Having been with my wife since meeting at University in 2007, we got married in 2013, and moved to Peru in February 2014. My wife got pregnant in 2015, and we made the decision that she would stop working at the end of that year so she could be at home with our baby. 
Life was good. We were enjoying our new life in Peru, we were travelling lots, and now we were going to expand our family. Plans for the next few years were starting to form. We were happy. The pregnancy was confirmed by the doctor, and we had fallen in love.
In June, the doctor told us that the baby was not growing as fast as it should be and that no heartbeat could be seen yet. We had to come back a week later to check the progress. A whole week of living in fear. Unknowing. 
In the following appointment it was confirmed that the baby was not growing, and that my wife was well into having a miscarriage. But for some reason her body was not removing the fetus. She had to have surgery to remove our baby. 
Our little baby girl. 
It felt like a huge black hole had opened within me and swallowed my very soul. 
Fortunately our school was very understanding, giving us both some time off, and then we had a 3 week holiday, and my in-laws were visiting. My wife needed that support. Understandably. 
As if this wasn't enough to deal with, my wife ended up with an infection following the procedure. A week in hospital on antibiotics and a second procedure were needed. Just as we were starting to come to terms, and be relatively able to be around people, everything was brought crashing back into our minds.
When back at work you suddenly realise how very hurtful inconspicuous questions can be. "When are you two going to have a baby?" seems to be the default question to ask somebody when they are recently married. But that single question can shake somebody to the very core. It happened to me. Several times. 
If you take one thing from this post, let it be this: don’t ask people questions like this. You have no idea what they are going through, and what you consider to be a light-hearted comment can bring people to near collapse. There will be people who you work with or socialise with who are going through something similar to this, and you are completely unaware. That single comment, said so flippantly, can scar them for years to come.
I didn’t tell people at work other than my line managers (who knew as I had taken time off) because I didn’t want to be pitied. I still don't. I didn’t really talk about it with anyone. I threw myself into my work. I stayed late, I took on responsibilities, I spent hours working on my website. I tried to distract myself from what I was feeling in any way I could. Not consciously, but looking back, I know that is what I did. I tried to support my wife as best I could. My way of acting strong for her was to not let my own feelings show. Perhaps that was a mistake; perhaps I should have opened up to her more at this stage.
We tried again.
Pregnant again.
1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage, but the majority of these are first pregnancies. I was optimistic. It couldn't happen again. 
It did.
And again.
And again.
Having one miscarriage is horrific. You feel awful every day. You feel like there is a gaping hole in your life. Something missing that you had. No matter how brief a time, you were a family, and that was snatched from you.
But that is nothing compared to the feeling of having a second miscarriage. Suddenly the things going through your mind are not feelings of depression about losing a baby, but feelings of depression about never being able to have a baby. That is a whole different level. 
All future pregnancies are filled with constant worry. The optimism is gone. The thoughts going through your head are not "what if something happens" but "when will something happen". Living like that is near impossible. You start to question if you can keep trying. Can you go through that trauma for a third time? Should you just give up? Accept that you aren't meant to have children? 
We wanted to be parents. But could we really cope with the agony of going through this again and again? Could we survive it? 
I began to doubt everything. 
I put on a happy face. People around me would not have known. But inside I was crying. Inside I was screaming. Inside, I was not the me I knew.
As bad as it was for me, I know it was worse for my wife. I got better at being properly supportive and opening up about how I was feeling after the second miscarriage, and we got through it together. If you are a couple going through a miscarriage my advice is to talk honestly to each other. You both need to hear that the other one is struggling and hurting. Don’t take it out on each other. 
By the third miscarriage, it had almost become normal for us. The pain was not as sharp, but more of a dull aching of the soul. The knife was already in, this was just a little twist of the wrist.
The fourth pregnancy is a blip in my memory. I barely remember it as it was so run of the mill.
When we reached the second trimester of our fifth pregnancy (the one which eventually led to the birth of our son), we were on high alert. So many people talk about enjoying their pregnancies. We never got that experience. The whole pregnancy was filled with worry (and a host of drugs being pumped into my wife on a daily basis). It was a means to an end. An end I was always skeptical we would reach.
But we did. On 20 November 2017 our son was born. And life changed again. 
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I doubt that was easy reading. It was certainly not easy to write. It is a glimpse into the most difficult time of our lives. It does not do justice to the true feelings we felt. 
As a teacher I question whether we should be doing more to educate our students about this reality? I know I was not taught that this was a possibility (and at 20%, not an insignificant possibility). 
But as a person I just want everyone to know, that this is a reality for many people. It is probable you know several people who have gone through a miscarriage (be that recently or long ago).  Or even were unable to get that far, unable to even get pregnant in the first place (that must be a completely different experience to which I cannot comment). 
So be aware of what you say. Be there to support people who look like they might be going through a tough time (though don’t force them to share, but be there if they want to). 
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    Dan Rodriguez-Clark

    I am a maths teacher looking to share good ideas for use in the classroom, with a current interest in integrating educational research into my practice.

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